The Boundary Trap: Why "Always Available" Leaders Are Actually Failing Their Teams

Hey fellow Edge walker!

The fact that you prioritise your development like this? That's what sets exceptional leaders apart.

Let me paint you a picture that might feel uncomfortably familiar.

It's 9:47 PM on a Tuesday. You're finally sitting down to dinner—cold, because you've been answering "urgent" emails since 6 PM. Your phone buzzes. Another team member needs "just a quick decision." You sigh, pick up the phone, and handle it because, well, that's what good leaders do, right?

Wrong.

I used to be that leader. The one who wore exhaustion like a badge of honour. The one who thought being constantly available made me indispensable. The one who believed that saying no would make people think I didn't care.

Here's the brutal truth I learned the hard way: I wasn't being a great leader—I was being a terrible one.

The Wake-Up Call That Changed Everything

The moment of realisation hit me during a team meeting when one of my best performers looked absolutely drained. When I asked what was wrong, she said something that stopped me cold: "I feel like I can't make any decisions without checking with you first. I'm second-guessing everything."

That's when it clicked. My "open door policy" and constant availability weren't empowering my team—they were crippling them. I was creating dependency instead of developing leaders.

I was so busy being needed that I forgot my real job: making myself unnecessary.

The Boundary Myth That's Destroying Leaders

Here's the lie we've all been sold: Good leaders are always available.

Bollocks.

Research shows that leaders without boundaries experience decision fatigue, lose sight of their vision, develop reduced empathy, and watch their passion fizzle out. Sound familiar?

But here's what really gets me fired up—when we don't set boundaries, we're not just hurting ourselves. We're failing our teams in the worst possible way. We're teaching them that:

• Their problems aren't worth solving themselves

• They can't be trusted with decisions

• Constant availability is normal (hello, burnout culture)

• Their leader's wellbeing doesn't matter

That's not leadership. That's martyrdom.

The Real Cost of Boundary-Free Leadership

Let me be blunt about what happens when leaders refuse to set boundaries:

Your team becomes needy and dependent instead of confident and capable. Your decision making suffers because you're constantly in reactive mode. Your strategic thinking disappears because you're too busy putting out fires. Your energy depletes, and eventually, your passion dies.

But the most painful cost? You lose respect. When you're available for everything, you're valued for nothing.

I learned this lesson when I realised my team had stopped bringing me the big, strategic challenges. They were coming to me for every tiny decision because I'd trained them to believe that's what I was there for.

The Boundary Breakthrough

Setting boundaries isn't about becoming unavailable, it's about becoming strategically available. It's about protecting your capacity to lead at your highest level.

When I finally started setting boundaries, something magical happened. My team stepped up. They started solving problems independently. They became more confident in their decision making. And ironically, they respected me more, not less.

The truth is: Boundaries don't create distance—they create clarity.

Your Turn: The Boundary Strength Assessment

Ready to discover if your boundaries need strengthening? Answer these questions honestly:

Rate each statement from 1-5 (1=Never, 5=Always):

1. I feel overwhelmed or burnt out regularly

2. I check emails and messages outside of work hours

3. Team members come to me for decisions they could make themselves

4. I struggle to find time for strategic thinking

5. I feel guilty when I say no to requests

Scoring:

• 20-25: Your boundaries are dangerously weak

• 15-19: You need boundary reinforcement

• 5-14: You're on the right track

Want to understand how to create Boundaries of Excellence? Check out my full framework in my Be Exceptional on line short course at liz-murray.mykajabi.com

Pay It Forward

Here's your challenge: This week, identify one boundary you need to set and communicate it clearly to your team. Maybe it's no emails after 7 PM. Maybe it's dedicated thinking time each morning. Maybe it's requiring your team to come with solutions, not just problems.

Then share this newsletter with one leader who's drowning in their own availability. The learning cycle isn't complete until we teach others what we've learned.

Remember: The highest performing leaders always pay it forward by sharing what they're learning.

Your team doesn't need you to be available 24/7. They need you to be brilliant when it matters.

Until next time, lead authentically from within.

Liz

P.S. Hit reply and tell me—what's the one boundary you're most afraid to set? I read every response, and your courage might just inspire the next newsletter.

Ready to master the art of boundary setting without losing your team's trust? Access my complete framework in my Be Exceptional on line short course at liz-murray.mykajabi.com