The truth about emotional intelligence at work
Edge of Possibilities | Liz Murray | Emotional intelligence in action
Reading time, 2 minutes
The truth about emotional intelligence at work
Last week named the skill nobody put on your job description. This episode is the close-up, four ordinary moments that reveal low emotional intelligence on a completely normal Tuesday. Listen to these as a mirror, not a scorecard, you might notice yourself in one, and that's the point.
Key takeaways:
- Low emotional intelligence doesn't announce itself, it shows up in small, easy to miss moments, not dramatic ones
- Needing to be right in the room costs less than it feels like, saying "I got that wrong" out loud almost never costs a leader anything
- Explaining instead of listening feels like clarity but reads as not listening
- High emotional intelligence doesn't stop feedback from stinging, it means you can still hear it while it does
- Naming tension early, calmly, without drama, is one of the most underused moves in leadership
Watch the video: https://youtu.be/uOOyi6O7bLY
Read the blog: https://www.edgeofpossibilities.com.au/blog/the-truth-about-emotional-intelligence-at-work
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Full transcript
Low emotional intelligence doesn't announce itself. Nobody stands up in a meeting and says, "I can't take feedback," or "I need to be right more than I need to be effective." It's smaller than that.
Last week was the big picture, the skill nobody put on your job description. This week it's the close-up, what it actually looks like on an ordinary Tuesday.
None of what I'm about to describe makes someone a bad leader. These are habits built under pressure, usually because they worked well enough, for long enough, that nobody questioned them. That's exactly why they're worth a second look now.
Listen to these as a mirror, not a scorecard. You might notice yourself in one. That's the point.
First, needing to be right in the room, instead of being able to sit with being wrong. This looks like defending a decision the second it's questioned, needing the last word, or quietly redirecting blame when something goes sideways. The alternative isn't weakness. It's a leader who can say, "I got that wrong," out loud, in front of their team, and it costs them nothing. It almost never does.
Second, explaining instead of listening when someone raises a concern. Someone brings you a problem, and the reflex is to justify, to give context, to make sure they understand your side before they've even finished stating theirs. It feels like clarity. It reads as not listening. The shift is small, a pause before the response, an actual question instead of an explanation.
Third, taking feedback as a personal attack. Feedback lands, and the body responds before the brain does, tightening up, going quiet, or over-explaining. Whatever's useful in that feedback gets lost in the discomfort of receiving it. High emotional intelligence doesn't mean feedback stops stinging. It means you can still hear it while it does.
Fourth, letting tension sit and curdle, instead of naming it early. Something's off in the room, and the instinct is to hope it resolves on its own. It rarely does. It just gets quieter and more corrosive. Naming it early, calmly, without drama, is one of the most understated moves in leadership.
So, a quick self-check, not a verdict. Which of those did you recognise? Not to feel bad about, just to notice. Awareness is the entire first move. You don't fix a pattern you can't see.
If one of those landed, The Leadership Mirror takes three minutes and shows you exactly what it's costing you. The links are below.