Rescuing instead of empowering
Edge of Possibilities | Liz Murray | Drivers and Defaults
Reading time, 2 minutes
Rescuing instead of empowering
I used to think being available for every problem was the job. Turns out I wasn't lightening anyone's load, I was just carrying it for them instead of teaching them to carry it themselves. This episode is about the shift that changed that, and why it gives you your own energy back too.
Key takeaways:
- Being available for every problem often means you're carrying it, not lightening it, for your team
- Rescuing costs you too, your own work loses momentum while you're holding theirs
- Handing a problem back isn't handing someone nothing, it's asking one deeper question instead of giving the answer
- Trusting your team to think for themselves gives them the win and gives you your focus back
- This is one of 5 patterns in this month's arc, from rescuing through to carrying what was never yours
Watch the video: https://youtu.be/3lRUHBtBRF0
Read the blog: https://www.edgeofpossibilities.com.au/blog/rescuing-isnt-leading
P.S. If this pattern's showing up for you, this month's free guide, Why momentum breaks down under pressure, covers 5 more like it and exactly where to catch each one: https://www.edgeofpossibilities.com.au/pl/2148850780
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Transcript
I used to pride myself on being there for my team — being responsive whenever they needed me.
If I could ease their load, I would. They were exceptional at what they did, and I wanted to support them in every single way that I could.
I genuinely wished there were more hours in the day so I could help them even more.
And I thought I was being helpful.
What I didn’t realise was that I wasn’t lightening their load. I was just taking on their problem and wishing for more time to carry it for them.
It was never about having enough time or not having enough time.
The real issue was that I was rescuing them.
I wasn’t empowering them to trust their own thinking.
And here’s the part that really gets me: my actual job was teaching people how to solve problems using their own critical thinking and problem-solving skills. Real teaching and learning.
And there I was, telling instead of asking. Solving instead of stepping back.
Doing the exact opposite of the thing I was meant to be building in them.
And it doesn’t stop at their problem.
Every time we rescue, we carry more of someone else’s burden as our own. We end up sitting under more pressure, not less, because our own projects have lost momentum while we were busy holding theirs.
From that place, you’re running on depleted energy.
And that’s the energy you bring to everyone and everything, without even realising it.
So here’s what changed it for me:
Handing a problem back isn’t handing someone a solution.
It’s a deeper question.
That’s it. That’s the whole shift.
And it’s not a loss for them either. It’s a win-win, because it gives them the opportunity to work out what actually fits for them, and it gives you the opportunity to hold your focus and energy for the work only you can do.
The old story in my head was that I needed to keep helping them so I could make it easier for them.
The new one is this:
When I trust them enough to think for themselves, they get the satisfaction of solving it — and I get to keep the momentum going on my own work.
That’s what being in adult mode actually looks like here.
Not doing more for people.
Believing they’re capable of more, and getting out of the way long enough to let them prove it to themselves.
And that’s the whole arc this month in one line: rescuing, demanding respect, missing your own default, letting the standard slip, and then carrying what was never yours.
All five of these come back to the same choice:
Are you leading from clarity, or running on a default?
If you want to see exactly where your own authority holds — and where it quietly drifts — that’s what the Leadership Mirror shows you in 10 minutes.
The link is below.
Where are you still rescuing instead of empowering?
Tell me in the comments. I really would love to know.