Leadership burnout: when caring turns into carrying
Nov 09, 2026I used to dream about work every night. I'd solve problems in my sleep, then wake up tired and not able to think straight.
The strange part was that I thought I was doing a great job.
My team was really happy. Everyone was getting along well with one another. And I was the one in the background running on empty.
Leadership burnout can come from a leader who cares so much that they end up carrying everyone. I know this one from the inside, and it's the story I'm sharing this week.
Last week I wrote about what happens when your head takes over under pressure. This week is the other side of that, when your heart takes over.
Why do caring leaders burn out?
Caring leaders burn out because they take on the pressure that belongs to their team, then do their own job on top of it.
That was me. I'd stepped into a new leadership role, with a lot of responsibility pretty much overnight. Not long into the role I had a brand new team, and I needed to train them up on my vision and help them understand what we were working toward.
So I did what a lot of caring leaders do. I ran around like a chook with my head cut off.
If someone was stressed, I took it on. If the pressure was building, I stepped in and took it off them. Then I'd go home, have a short break and do my own work late at night.
What does leadership burnout look like when your team is happy?
It looks like it's working. That's what makes it so hard to spot.
I felt like I was on top of everything. The team was happy and positive. From the outside, nobody would have guessed anything was wrong.
The signs were all on my side of the desk:
- Dreaming about work and solving problems in my sleep
- Waking up foggy and tired
- Doing my own work late at night, after everyone else's was sorted
- Putting on a happy face every day while I was worn out
A happy team can hide a leader who's running on empty.
What does carrying your team cost?
For me, the cost showed up at home first.
I fell pregnant with my second baby. I had a toddler at home and I wasn't sleeping well. I was stretched between being a good mum, trying to rest while pregnant, and keeping up the high standards I wanted to hold at work.
I wasn't present for my toddler. I wasn't present for my partner. I was there, but my head was somewhere else all the time. I just wasn't being who I'd planned to be for them.
What are you carrying right now that was never yours to carry?
How do you stop rescuing your team and still lead with heart?
You keep the care and change the job. That's what I eventually worked out.
I started reading. Jack Canfield, Jim Rohn, Stephen Covey, Brian Tracy and plenty more. I slowly worked through it, and something clicked.
My job was not to carry everyone else. My job was to share the vision, show people broadly how things could be done, and then let them find their own way. Then champion them while they did it.
That was a real aha for me. I could keep caring and still hand the work back.
This is the heart side of what I call Head and Heart Integration. Your heart keeps your people with you. When it takes over completely, you end up rescuing people and carrying their load as your own, instead of backing them to carry it themselves.
What happens when you step back?
I started stepping back bit by bit. Over time my energy shifted from constantly feeling the pressure of supporting everyone to a sense of lightness. I was asking more questions and championing more.
What surprised me most was the team.
They got more excited and started challenging themselves. You could see how proud they were of the conversations they'd been having and the problems they'd been solving on their own.
And me? I got my work done during the day. I started time blocking, and the night work stopped.
Finally I had that balance between work life and home life. I was showing up in both as the version of myself I'd wanted to be all along.
How to hand a problem back to your team
Try one thing this week.
Next time someone brings you a problem, pause before you jump in. Ask them, "What do you think we should do?" Then let them have a go.
It'll feel slower at first, and that's okay. Every time you hand it back, you're building their confidence and giving yourself a bit of room to breathe.
That's the job.
Finish the year without running on empty
If this is landing for you, and you're heading into the end of the year feeling a bit stretched, come and join me live. I'm running a session on Zoom on Thursday 19 November, 12pm to 1pm AEDT, called Finish the Year Without Running on Empty.
Prefer to watch or listen? Watch the video or listen to the podcast.
What's one thing you're still carrying for your team that you could hand back? Tell me in the comments.
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